CBS News Reports Men Fish Because We’re Drunks, Lazy, and Bad Multi-Taskers

Last week, writer Faith Salie penned an article on the website of CBS News titled “A Baited Question: Why Do Men Love Fishing?” She starts by noting that she has only fished once, and the trip was unsuccessful. Then she proceeds to explain that she went “trawling” for answers. I suggest you read the article in its entirety, but I’ve decided to give the list of reasons she discovered through what I’m sure was tiresome, draining, lengthy investigative reporting with sources who were very serious, dedicated anglers.

Per Ms. Salie’s article, men love fishing because:

Many guys tell me that fishing satisfies a primal hunting urge. It’s man vs. nature, armed with only a pole, beer and sunscreen. They think, “I just caught my own dinner (if my wife will de-bone it for me).” – If you’re armed with only a pole, beer, and sunscreen, you’re likely going to a frat party, not fishing. If you need/expect your wife to clean your fish, you should be on the receiving end of whatever they’re doing with the pole and sunscreen at the frat party.

And if you consider fishing a sport – and some do – then it’s a very democratic kind of activity. You don’t need to be tall or strong or agile. You just need to be patient, or drunk . . . on the beauty of nature. As avid fisher President Herbert Hoover put it, “All men are equal before fish.” – For lots of fishing you don’t need to be tall or strong or agile, but if you plan to, say, fight a tuna, chase a steelhead down a river, throw giant muskie lures all day, or jig an amberjack in 300 feet of water, you best be capable of a bit more than lifting a Venti Mochaccino or running to your iPad to download the new Nickelback album.

Also, fishing is a pretty good excuse not to do much, which is really what summer should be about. Scientific studies have proven that women multitask better than men, so fishing is a great way for men to flex their strength at mono-tasking. Standing there with just a rod and a wish is something at which men can really excel! – When you can keep a boat straight at the proper speed on the troll, keep an eye on the sounder, keep lines from crossing, deal with multiple knock-downs and hook ups, and do it all in choppy seas, I’d say you excel at multi-tasking. Screw up one part of the dance and someone will, in fact, be standing there with a rod wishing you knew what you were doing.

One man explained fishing as extended periods of boredom punctuated with brief bouts of excitement – which to me describes dating. You put your bait out there; you see what bites; you catch and release, and trust there are OTHER fish in the sea. – To me it describes a __**man that knows nothing about fishing. And (here’s one you missed) men love fishing because it gives us time to not think about dating. Please refrain from using that metaphor.**

So lets use this opportunity to tell Ms. Salie why we do love fishing, boys. And ladies, please chime in on why you love fishing, too, because according to the story: Sure, there are ladies who like to fish, but it’s mostly men wading in rivers, leaning over bridges and boats, angling for the nibble that delivers every fisherman’s desire: “tight lines.”