As hunters, we should all be concerned with the health and safety risks associated with walking. Hidden rocks, sticks and small forest creatures are serious tripping hazards on the way to your stand, and the strain required to put one leg in front of the other for an extended period of time may increase your risk of elevated heart rate, muscle exertion and a rise in your body’s metabolism. But until now hunters wishing to avoid such dangers had to rely on hired porters or an ATV or motorcycle with their messy, noisy internal combusion engines.

Until now. Now you can rip those trails and maintain your carefully-sculpted putty-like figure in utter, unnerving, hydrocarbon-free silence, thanks to the brand-new all-electric Zero X Dirt Bike

From the website:

The Zero X electric motorcycle is a full sized high performance machine. Built from the ground up using the ultimate electric motorcycle technology and boasting 50 ft-lbs of torque, this stealthy motorcycle will send you racing up hills, flying over jumps, and splashing through streams. Best part is, you can do it all without disturbing nature or your neighbors.

“Racing up hills…flying over jumps…splashing through streams.” Obviously their marketing department has a different definition of disturbing nature than I do. Still, it’s an interesting concept. But I have two questions: One, in today’s dismal (and that’s being cheerfully optimistic) economic climate, is anyone going to drop the almost eight grand a Zero X will set you back? Two: Since it’s obvious from the photo that hunters will be one of the Zero X’s target markets, do we really need yet another way to make hunting easier and more convenient?