Chad Love: Own Your Own Whale Gun

Do you constantly fret over the adequacy of your gun collection? Are you worried there's a gaping hole in your hunting arsenal? Do you have guns for small game, upland birds, waterfowl, turkeys, predators, deer, elk, moose, bear, dangerous game, plains game, and pretty much anything else that walks, crawls or flies, but you still think there's something missing for the really, really big game?

Well, fret no more, because for the low starting bid of $19,950 you can complete your ultimate hunting battery with this, the Kongberg 90mm Harpoon Cannon, complete with everything you see here (crusty Norwegian whaler dudes sold separately).

Yes, that really is a genuine deck-mounted harpoon gun offered for sale on Gunbroker.com. And yes, if you really wanted it and had the coin to buy it and have it shipped to the states it could be yours. The question is, what the hell would you do with it? Is it the ultimate bowfishing rig? Could you bolt it to the bed of your truck to scare off annoying tailgaters? Lawn darts? Or is this the ultimate post-apocalyptic weapon for protecting your home?

What would you do with this thing? Click through this gallery of more photos of the harpoon gun for inspiration, then give us your best and most creative answer. Bonus points awarded for those that are written in a fake Norwegian accent, make some reference to Moby Dick, or include the term "thar she blows!"

Unless I get lucky and draw for, say, a humpback tag, I believe I'd simply mount the thing in my front yard to deter vacuum cleaner salesmen.