Calls & Decoys photo

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The response to the duck call translation contest was tremendous. Clearly plenty of you speak quack or, as Man’s Best Friend regular kelmitch said, that “fowl language.” So without further ado, let’s get to the good stuff.

Smpeach spoke to my inner sports fan with his translation:

Cold Beer! Cold Beer! Who needs a cold beer?!

Many of you referenced your better halves. Here’s one from hengst:

Come on guys somebody take on for the team. After all of the money I’ve spent this year if I don’t invite a few of you home to dinner my wife will look for a new drake. Pleeeeaaaaassssseee

And a solid one from fruguy101:

Honey, please come back!! I didn’t mean to say your tail looked big in those colors. I meant to say that those colors made your tail look big. Honestly, your tail is perfect!!

OntarioHonker reached deep into his CD collection (or maybe his 8 track collection) to mine inspiration from Tom Jones and Perry Como. Impressive. And our friend Quackwacker took the opportunity to speak duck with a political twist:

That was a democratic duck call translated like this…”Hey y’all come over here and look at all the free corn and duck weed, won’t cost you a thing……except your life!”

But in the end, the winner of the decoys (and assorted goodies) from Avery Outdoors is mjh5161. The entry mixed humor and creativity. Here it is:

What are you doing, I thought we were friends,

I cannot handle all of these hens.

The food is great and the water is fine,

me and my friends are here all the time.

You thought you saw movement; it was only a deer,

everything will be fine if you come back here.

Remember the days; all the good times,

we’d sit on the pond making up these same rhymes.

Trying to convince our friends not to flee,

So come on back here, drinks are on me.

Congrats, mjh5161. Please shoot me your mailing address at and I’ll have the loot shipped to you. Thanks to Avery Outdoors for the great prizes and all of you who participated. Stay tuned. There’s more gear to give away next month.