Breaking News: Vegetarians Discover Guilt-Free Meat

Newsweek is reporting a major breakthrough in the world of vegetarianism. In short, veggie lovers have found their Holy Grail: guilt-free meat (and by meat, we're talking red meat--not fish or free-range chickens, which haven't been as meat in the minds of many vegetarians in years). Incredibly, hard-working food-ethic trendsetters have now made it not just possible but cool to eat beef without all that stomach-turning guilt. The key is "responsibly raised," grass-fed beef. Even more remarkable, according to the Newsweek article, is that the cachet attached this high-end red meat allows vegetarians to be as smug as ever about their food choices.

"There is something almost primal about it," writes lapsed vegetarian Tara Austen Weaver, describing her first meat-buying expedition in The Butcher and the Vegetarian_. "I haven't actually hunted dinner myself, but I set my sights and claimed the prize I sought."_

Do you realize what this means? Vegetarians can now be hunters. Think of it, the fall woods will come alive with the ancient rhythms of the hunt and the sound of vegetarians still claiming the moral high ground.

On second thought, before we invite our veggie-loving friends to join us in the woods, let's wait for the next great breakthrough that will allow them to eat red meat without guilt--and finally shut up about it.