Chad Love: Anybody Got A Guard Donkey?

So you’re bored at work (and why wouldn’t you be bored at work, right?) and perusing Craigslist instead of working on those TPS reports when you come across this ad:

I’m in need desperate need of a guard donkey for my goats I’m having a huge coyote problem right now and my momma goats are having kids. I really can’t be spending alot of money right now due to the fact my wife and I are expecting and I’m trying to save some money. If you have an extra donkey or just want to get rid of one please call me at…

Guard donkey? What the hell is a guard donkey? I mean, it’s a…donkey. Not exactly the first thing that comes to mind in the ferocious guard animal category. Give me Dobermans, give me pit bulls, give me Rosie O’ Donnell, but don’t give me a cud-chewing ungulate with the countenance of a beanie baby.

Well, believe it or not in many parts of the country donkeys and llamas are used as livestock guardians. They are, quite literally, bad asses. If you’re a coyote and you see a llama or donkey or worse, both working in tandem you best just slink on to the next unguarded flock or take your chances of getting stomped into prairie grass fertilizer.

Coyotes aren’t the only things these bad asses and Lorenzo Lllamas can face down, either. Pit Bulls? Here’s a video of a llama going all Irish riverdance on one. And reporters? Oh, man, they really don’t like reporters. Someone obviously asked the wrong question…

So are donkeys and llamas going to replace pitbulls and rotts as the favored ferocious status pets of drug cartel kingpins and celebrities? I don’t know, but if I see one I’m crossing the street. Fast.