I’ve been lucky enough to hunt lots of different critters, and I can tell you for a fact that there is nothing to send you instantly into adrenaline bloat like the appearance of a big whitetail. Elk and Cape buffalo will churn your ductless glands, but they are amateurs compared to Odocoileus virginianus.

Part of the whitetail’s mystique is its ability to materialize out of thin air. If you’ve hunted them, you know that you can be looking at a perfectly empty field one instant and in the next instant there is a deer standing where you were looking. You never see them approach; they seem to assemble themselves from molecules in the space of a nanosecond.

It’s possible that they learn from their mothers as fawns: “Pay attention now, children. This is important.”

It’s possible that they had help from aliens, aeons ago, before the aliens went to Egypt to build pyramids.

Who knows? In any event, it’s a good part of why they drive so many people nuts, including myself.