I'd like to be a libertarian. But how does a libertarian protect the waters that we drink and fish, and the woods and plains where we hunt? The wetlands that control the floods and support the ducks and almost everything else? I once asked a friend's wife, who is a libertarian, "In a libertarian system, what keeps the biggest gorilla from taking over everything?" 'All the little gorillas!" she answered. I thought that was pretty good. Then I thought some more. Most of the little gorillas I know are too busy trying to keep food on the table to keep the big gorillas honest. And there's always a big gorilla, or a little gorilla, who wants to dump the waste from their blue jean dying factory in your creek, fill in the local marsh for a new super store, or tell you that you don't need a place to hunt deer anymore, because they need a place to build manure lagoons for their big pig farm, and anyway, they don't want to compete with free venison. There's a big gorilla working for that guy putting fake stories on the internet about how deer hunting and eating venison leads to gun violence and cruelty to animals. Another big gorilla hiring a pretty lady to go on television and tell everybody that clean creeks and fishing aren't as important as a "strong economy." (A "strong economy" is defined by how much money her bosses can save by dumping their waste in your creek, of course. See: China) She'll explain how expensive blow out preventers on offshore oil wells are unnecessary, and might result in higher costs to all of us at the pump this summer. All us little gorillas watch, shake our heads in bewilderment, and go on back to work.