So say you’re a member of the ruling class and you’re getting a bit worried about all that rabble-rousing talk of equality and social justice the serfs and peasants are engaging in. It’s bloody frightening, but what’s a prudent upper-class twit to do? Why, wear bullet-proof tweeds, of course.
From this story in the UK Telegraph:
_Tweed, the hard-wearing fabric favoured by the landed gentry, has been adapted into bullet-proof clothing. A Scottish textiles company has launched a range of jackets and waistcoats, complete with body armour sown into the fabric, in an effort to stop sportsmen being injured. In the most famous example of the perils of hunting game, Mr Cheney injured his friend, Harry Whittington, by spraying him with shotgun pellets during a shoot at a Texas ranch in 2006.
__However, Jack Ellis, the Angus-based firm behind the new garments, is also targeting them at Russian oligarchs keen to protect themselves from assassination attempts. Stewart Liddell, the company’s sales director, said they will appeal to “an ever-expanding market” despite costing between £600 and £1,000 each. “The bullet-proof tweed is ideal for shooting parties on Scotland’s grouse moors. Every season you hear of an accidental shooting,” he said.
“Now nervous gamekeepers can provide clients with extra protection, especially from trigger-happy Italians who get excited on the moors. “It is also ideal for upper-end security, especially overseas, with the likes of Russia proving a large and expanding market for us.” He said the waistcoats and jackets are very lightweight, allowing easy movement, but will “easily” stop a shotgun blast thanks to ceramic plates inserted into their linings. The tweed ‘soft armour’ also includes a weave of aramid, a super-strength synthetic fibre that diverts bullets off at an angle. The exterior is covered by a thin layer of Teflon, which is waterproof and offers extra protection.
Forget the Scottish grouse moors, how many of us need something like this for our upland gamebird openers? And would wearing bulletproof clothing be worth looking like you’re tracking Lon Chaney Jr. through the fog?