“The only answer,” mused Garvey as he typed the warrant for Vincent Booker’s house, “is that crime makes you stupid.” – a favorite line from Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets by David Simon.

Dumb crook stories are always fun, and this one has an outdoors/camo angle to it to boot. Gregory Liascos, of Portland, Oregon, planned to steal the gold nugget collection from the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals. He spent several days tunneling through the outdoor bathroom into the museum. His plan evidently included a bicycle and a ghillie suit (or “moss suit” if you’re a clueless news anchor) to aid his escape.

Unfortunately for him, Liascos’ plan did not include cleaning up evidence of his ongoing tunneling efforts. The police got wise, the attempt went wrong, and Liascos was captured at toothpoint, as you’ll find out if you watch the news story. *

Liascos also learned rather painfully what any deer hunter could have told him: even the best camo only fools animals with keen noses if you hide downwind.

–Phil Bourjaily

*When I posted the Elmo Beatdown video a week or so ago, several of you admitted to being fans of the lovely–if macaw-voiced–Robin Meade. For you, here’s her shorter report on the Liascos story.