Man mistakes bear for “really big porcupine.” Disputes claim he was “stoned off his gourd” at time of sighting.

Ok, so I just made up the second part of that headline. But come on, admit it; you were thinking it, too…

From this story on out of Oregon:
_Police are on the lookout for a bear that’s been terrorizing a Bend, OR neighborhood, knocking over trash cans and looking for food. A bear was spotted for the second time in a week on Monday, but Philip Pohl said he originally mistook it for something else. “I thought it was a really big porcupine,” Pohl said Tuesday after the huge bear was pulled from a tree in his yard. “My wife and I stepped out on our deck and got a better look and were like, ‘That’s a bear!'” Corey Heath of the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife says the bears are generally looking for food.


__”And breeding season is coming,” he noted, “so it’s not a pattern, but it’s unusual for Bend to have two in a week.” It took the curious bear just a few minutes to claw his way more than 60 feet up the tree, but it took rescue workers hours to bring it down safely. Weighing more than 300 pounds, the bear had to be shot with tranquilizers multiple times because of its size. “Then he fell asleep up in the tree from the immobilizing darts,” Heath said. “And so it was a fairly big process getting him down from the tree safely, for the firemen and the bear.”_

I mean, seriously, it’s not like this was a cub or anything. The damn thing weighed three hundred pounds! Could you imagine three hundred pounds of raging porcupine? I couldn’t, at least not sober. Just sayin’…