Chad Love: Zero Tolerance

It's difficult being a teenager in today's school culture, what with the dangers posed by nail clippers, pen knives, and the horrifying spectacle of hunting bows accidentally left in cars .

Thankfully, we now have the "zero-tolerance" policy to protect our children from such chaos. Bring a weapon to school (or anything weapon-like) and you're gone. No tolerance. No excuses. The beauty here is that this allows school administrators to forego the trouble of decision-making. No longer must they look at each incident on its own, weigh the evidence and circumstances and then make a judgment call based on experience and training. Now it's "Hey, our hands are tied, That's the policy. Sorry. Shouldn't have brought a wooden gun to school by accident."

A wooden gun? Yep, we can add the always-loaded practice twirling rifle to the list of things from which our children are now safe

From the story:
_DENVER -- For Marie Morrow, the equipment left in the back seat of her car was for an upcoming competition. She said she never expected it would lead to her being suspended from school -- or possibly expelled. "I take responsibility, it was my mistake," Morrow told 7NEWS. She left three drill team "practice" rifles in plain view of passing students last week.

Morrow, who says she has a 3.5 grade point average, is a member of the Douglas County Young Marines. She said she spins the practice rifles for the organization's drill team.

Staff members at Cherokee Trail High School were alerted by concerned students who thought they might be real, said a Cherry Creek Schools spokeswoman. "They went inside. They were anxious. They were frightened," school district spokeswoman Tustin Amole said._

The mind boggles, doesn't it? Here's a solution: why not replace lazy school administrators with computer programs? It's obvious that some of them no longer perform any functions requiring a sense of nuance or abstract higher-order judgment. Just go down to the local computer emporium and grab a few Macbooks. Draw a smiley face on a piece of paper, tape it above the screen, load the program and Bingo! You've got the MacPrincipal, which could perform all the functions of a lazy "I'm just enforcing the policy" school principal for 1/70th the cost.