It's so simple. So devious. So genius. Buy earrings for her. Be the romantic hero. Bask in the warm glow of her unadulterated love. Slip the rifle into the safe when she's over showing off the earrings to your mother-in-law, you know, the same mother-in-law who warned her daughter she should find a nice dentist instead of marrying you, the shiftless, unrepentant gun nut.