You know what you need? You need a new pair of boots. And not just any boots, but the new Cabela’s Air Revolution Boots by Meindl, which has an aeration system that sucks in fresh air with every step to keep your normally swampy, rank feet from getting sweaty.

Knowing that that is what you need, we asked Cabela’s if they would give each of you a pair, and they said, “Um, well, they’re $240 boots. How about we give you one pair and your guys can compete for them. Maybe a contest or something?”

“Good enough,” we said, so here you go. You know the drill. Write the best caption–as judged by Hurteau and me–and you’ll get these fancy, aerated boots. Here’s the photo.