Contest Results: How Would You Cook a Wooly Mammoth?
After reading all the entries in the Wooly Mammoth Cooking Contest, one thing is evident: Wild Chef readers are undaunted...
After reading all the entries in the Wooly Mammoth Cooking Contest, one thing is evident: Wild Chef readers are undaunted by a challenge. In addition to suggesting classics like smoked ribs and backstraps, reader recipes included great ideas for making a meal out of the mega-fauna, including reader TM who assures us he’s a meat hunter–not a tusk hunter.
He solves the dilemma of marinating mammoth in an above-ground pool and reminds us, “leftovers make good sandwiches in the pterodactyl blind.” Maybe combine that with B0whunt3r’s idea of picking up some giant veggies from the state fair (along with an ostrich egg) for a delicious MBLT (Mammoth Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato) with some Ostrich Egg Mayo.
Other honorable mentions include dutchkas’s Beer Keg Mammoth, and Gtbigsky’s paleolithic take on the Turducken:
In the middle of the woods, stuff a pig inside of a cow and the cow inside of the mammoth then set the woods on fire. Come back in three days when the fire’s out and enjoy fall-off-the-bone smoked Picowamoth.
Had Gtbigsky replaced the pig and cow with other Pleistocene animals, say a cave bear and ground sloth, he would have run away with the win, but in the end the honors have to go to yeppers2 for his nose-to-tail use of the wooly mammoth, including a great take on prehistoric sausage:
Step 1. Hang animal in fairly large pole shed. NOTE: Save entrails, and other parts for making tools, coats, hats, shoes, piano keys, chairs, wigs, etc. Age the animal for up to eight days at exactly 36 degrees. (Send the refrigeration bill to your mother-in-law.)
Step 2. Once aged, quarter the mammoth. Wrap backstrap, tenderloin steaks and a few rump roasts into family sized portions and freeze immediately. Use the front shoulders, what’s left of the hindquarters, and other scraps for grinding and making sausage.
Step 3. Mammoth intestines would likely exceed 60-feet. Use intestines for sausage casing, and create the world’s longest bratwurst. If available, combine Sabre Tooth Tiger or Triceratops trimmings to avoid the meat from becoming too dry. (Sabre Tooth Tigers and Triceratops are similar to pork.)_
Step 4. After smoking the giant bratwurst to perfection save for a fall celebration, like Oktoberfest, or any other venue that has great tasting beer.
Congrats to yeppers2 on the win. Email your shipping address to firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll get your Camp Chef Grill Pan shipped out soon. And thanks to everyone who took the time to enter.
Now, if you need me, I’ll be out back sharpening up my atlatl.